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*New Fanfiction* EVA ~ PART I

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Lily and Rufus- Breakdown
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*New Fanfiction* EVA ~ PART I

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“Alison?” William lightly touched her arm. “Alison?”

“Mmm…” she moaned.

“Sweetheart?” he moved down squeezing her hand. “I’m going into work now.”

She moaned again not opening her eyes. “Mmm….okay.”

“I’m only going in for a half day okay?” he continued to talk to her. “I’ll be home at lunch time. You want me to bring you home anything?”

She shifted in the bed. “No…I’m tired, Will.”

“I know…I know,” he kissed her forehead. “Sleep now, I’ll be home later.”

“Mmm…be careful,” she said before falling back to sleep.

“I will,” he whispered, smiling at her. He looked down at her hand in his, rubbing her knuckles for a moment. She was six days overdue and miserable. She tossed and turned the entire night not able to find a comfortable position. It killed him to see her so frustrated. He didn’t want to go into work but was called in for some emergency.

He lightly touched her hair for a moment before leaving the room and going down stairs. He checked to make sure she had enough vitamins and quickly made a list of things to get at the market. He left her a short note, grabbed his bag and coat and headed out.

He entered his car, his driver shutting the door firmly behind him. He glanced up at his house everything was dark expect for the light he left on in the kitchen. He looked up to his bedroom window and smiled a bit knowing Alison was safe and tucked inside. He took a deep breath as the car took off and he started his journey to the hospital.

He thought back to the last month and how his life had drastically changed. Ever since Alison had returned to his life he had been a little bit happier and the loneliness faded with each day. He enjoyed taking care of her and tried to make up being gone for the first 8 months of her pregnancy. At times it amazed him that she was carrying his child and he quickly warmed up to the idea of having a little girl.

He also couldn’t believe that he would soon be moving back to the states. He had fully intended on staying in Paris for the rest of his life, and now he was going to be living with Alison and their child in Hudson. At first he really wasn’t sure if he’d be able to do it, if he’d be able to start over and live with Alison; now he couldn’t think of not doing it. She was actually making him happy, something he always knew, but was too afraid to let happen.

He smiled a bit when the car pulled up in front of the hospital. Getting out he sighed and entered the hospital hoping he would get out soon.


Alison awoke a few hours later to a slight pain in her back. She rolled from her side to her back and looked up to the ceiling. She placed her hand on her stomach and rubbed it a little. She had never felt so huge in her entire life. Moving she sat up and leaned against the headboard. She looked over to the nightstand and saw that it was almost ten o’clock. Sighing she looked up and saw the picture of her and Will next to the clock. They had their picture taken in front of the Eiffel tower after he had taken her to lunch a few weeks back. They were both smiling and he had one hand protectively resting on her stomach.

She looked down at her stomach again. “Oh sweetie when are you going to come out?” she sighed. “I want to meet you so badly.” Just then she felt a small kick to the side of her stomach and she smiled. “Was that a yes or a no?” she laughed.

She was just about to get out of bed when the phone rang. She stretched over to Will’s side of the bed and picked up the phone. “Hello?”

“Honey? I didn’t wake you did I?”

“No,” she shook her head. “I was actually just getting up.”

“Hey, I got some bad news, I’m going to have to stay here a bit longer today,” he sighed.

“Oh, well that’s okay. I have a lot of stuff to get done anyways.”

“How would you like to meet me for lunch?” he asked. “Harvey said that he could come and pick you up in about an hour.”

She smiled, “I would love to come and meet you for lunch, but an hour is not a lot of time, I’m still trying to get out of this bed,” she laughed.

“What do you need to get ready for?” he asked. “It’s just lunch with me. I know what you look like. You’re beautiful.”

“Well thank you,” she laughed. “But I kinda look like I was just hit by a truck.”

He laughed back. “I’m sure that you don’t. Come on. Just come. I just want to see you.”

She couldn’t say no to him. “Alright, but I’m still getting ready.”

He rolled his eyes. “Meet me in my office?” he asked.

“I’ll be there,” she smiled.

“See you in an hour then,” he picked up his pen pulling a file from his desk.

She hung up the phone and pulled herself to the edge of the bed and swung her legs over slowly standing up.

“Ugh,” she sat up rubbing her lower back. This was the part of pregnancy that she hated. If felt as though it lasted forever. She made her way into the bathroom and turned on the shower. She took off her nightgown and looked at herself in the mirror. She turned to the side and then to the front. She shook her head, she was huge and she knew it would take forever to lose all the weight. She gave herself one last glace before getting in the shower.

She let the water pour over her body and she quickly washed her hair and body before she got tired of standing in the hot shower. She quickly got out and dried herself off. She went into her closet that was now stocked full of maternity clothes. Will had insisted on taking her shopping to buy her clothes, when he found out she had only brought a tiny suitcase with her.

She picked out a pink dress that had a satin bow that wrapped around its waist and landed above her belly. She laid it on the bed and went into the bathroom and started to do her hair and make up. She tired to cover the bags under her eyes but realized that no matter how hard she tired nothing masked how tired she was. She sighed looking at herself in the mirror. “You’re fat so just face it,” she laughed in spite of herself.

She walked back into her room and looked at the clock. “Shoot!” she quickly put on her dress and grabbed her Birkin walking downstairs. She entered the kitchen and saw a note from Will next to her vitamins. “Eat healthy things today….” She laughed thinking about her recent addiction to candy bars. She just couldn’t seem to get enough chocolate lately. She grabbed a glass of water and took her vitamins. Then took an apple from the stand when she heard the door bell ring.

Sighing she turned off the kitchen light, grabbed her keys and bag then opened the front door.

“All ready miss?” Harvey smiled at her.

“Yes,” she smiled closing the door behind her and locking it.

He walked with her down the driveway and opened the car door for her. “Anywhere else Miss before the hospital?”

“No, just the hospital is fine. Thank you, Harvey.”

He nodded and closed the door behind her. Alison looked out the window as the car started down the driveway. She placed her hand on her belly and rubbed it a little bit. She wondered when she would go into labor and how it would feel this time around. She didn’t know if it would be harder or easier now that she was older. At least she knew what to expect.

Watching the landscape pass her by she was still a little taken aback that she was living in Paris, even if it was only for a short time. Every so often guilt would creep up on her wondering if Will really wanted to leave Paris. She had tossed it back and forth in her mind if living in Paris would really be the best thing. She just didn’t know if she could live that far from her children. It was killing her now as it was.

“You okay Miss?” Harvey looked in his rear-view mirror. “The baby giving you troubles?”

“I just wish she’d come out,” she looked up at his eyes in the mirror. “More frustrating than anything.”

“Well I can’t say I know how you feel,” he laughed.

She smiled, “No, I suppose not.”

“Well, Mr. van der Woodsen, I’m sure feels the same,” he nodded. “He’s been looking up these days.”

“Has he?”

Harvey nodded. “He was lost for a long time and was in a dark place. “

“I know.” She said softly, remembering how she found him a little over a month ago. Every so often he would lapse into a bout of depression, but those days were now coming few and further in between. She liked to think she and the baby had something to do with it.

“We’re here Miss,” he turned off the engine. “Would you like me to walk you up?”

“No I’m all right,” she unbuckled herself. “I’ll call you when I’m ready to be picked up.”

He opened the door for her and took her hand helping her out of the car. “If you need anything Miss just let me know. My phone is always on.”

“Thank you Harvey,” she touched his shoulder before walking into the hospital. She walked through the revolving doors praying that she wouldn’t get stuck. Then made her way over to the elevators and pushed the button to the sixth floor. She leaned against the wall and watched as light dinged as the floors went up. The door opened on the forth floor and a man and a woman got on. She was sitting in a wheelchair and holding a baby. “Congratulations,” she said softly.

They both looked at her and smiled. “Merci beaucoup,” the man told her.

The woman looked up from her baby. “Thank…you,” she said in broken English.

“Umm…Quand votre bébé dû?” the man asked.

“Six jours auparavant,” Alison laughed shrugging her shoulders.

“Ahh…” they both laughed.

The elevator dinged on the sixth floor and the doors opened. Alison turned back to the couple “Au revoir,” she waved.

“Au revoir,” they waved back and smiled. “Bonne chance.”

Alison walked down the hallway and rounded the corner to the back offices. All the doors were closed except for the last one on the right, which was just barely ajar. She knocked on the door lightly. “Paging Dr. van der Woodsen,” she smiled.

Will looked up from his paper work and smiled. “You made it,” he pushed back his chair and patted his lap. “Come here.”

She crossed his office and sat on his lap. “Busy I see,” she looked at the stack of papers on his desk before looking over at him.

He dropped his pen and rested his hand on her knee. “Playing catch up,” he sighed. “Charting is never ending, but there is one good thing?”

“What’s that?”

“Rose is back,” he held his expression.

“Rose,” she eyed him.

“What?” he laughed. “What’s so good about having a partner if you can’t throw some paper work her way every once in awhile.”

“Mmm….I like the way you think doctor.”

“I thought so,” he touched her cheek. “You look tired,” he was honest.

Her lip turned under and she sighed. “Just when I thought I was looking better.”

“She’s sucking the life out of you,” he joked.

“I’m not giving birth to an alien, Will,” she rolled her eyes. “I’m just a little tired…and sore….and swollen.”

“Come on, let’s get lunch and then-”

“Will,” Rose walked into the room. “Why don’t we….” She stopped when she saw Alison. “Oh….and who’s this?”

Will sighed, “This is….” He hesitated.

“Alison,” she stood, reaching out her hand.

Rose moved forward and immediately noticed her belly. “Oh…umm…nice to meet you,” she eyed Will. “Will, I thought we could do lunch. Catch up on our cases,” she smiled moving passed Alison.

Will stood and gathered up his files. “Sorry but I’m having lunch with Alison. And, yes you do need to catch up on your patients,” he handed her the large stack of records. “These need to be finished before you leave,” he took Alison’s hand and led her to the door. “Oh, and I’ll be taking some time off as well. I’m moving back to the states.” He didn’t wait to hear her reply before he closed the door.

“Will,” she scolded. “That was rude.”

“She’ll get over it,” he pushed the button for the elevator. “Besides she’s been pushing her work off on me for months. It felt good.”

The elevator door’s opened and they both walked in. “Will?” she turned to him.


“Can we go to…the forth floor?” she smiled looking at her feet before she looked back up to him.

“Again?” he laughed.

“One more time? Just for a moment,” she pushed the button.

“I suppose,” he sighed pretending he was annoyed. “They already think you live there anyways.”

“They do not!” she slapped his arm. “I just like to look.”

“And hold,” he laughed. “I’m just kidding with you,” he wrapped an arm with her. “They’re very grateful for you. Not many people go in to hold the sick babies or the ones that don’t have anyone. You’re always welcome.”

“It must be awful to have a sick child,” she sighed, touching her belly.

“It must,” he put his hand on top of hers. “I’m very thankful you took care of yourself. Did all the right things.”

She swallowed, “It never crossed my mind not to.”

“Come on, he kissed her temple as the doors opened. “The babies await.”


Alison sat back in her chair and wiped her mouth with her napkin. “That was delicious,” she looked down at her empty dessert plate.

“Of course it was,” he chuckled. “It had a million pounds of chocolate on it. Maybe we should call her Snickers.”

“No,” she frowned. “We will not.”

“She going to need a name,” he was serious. “We haven’t really talked about it.”

“I know,” she looked around. “Nothing’s really struck me lately.”

“I know what you mean.”

“Maybe…maybe when we see her,” she looked at Will.

He reached across the table and took her hand. ‘She’s going to be beautiful.”

“I can’t wait.” Looking out the window she noticed that it just started to snow. She loved the snow and she couldn’t get over how much whiter it seemed in Paris. Everything seemed just that much more beautiful here.

Will set some cash on the table for the tip then stood grabbing Alison’s coat. “Come on,” he helped her up. “I don’t want you getting sick. Let’s get you home before the storm hits. I’ll build us a fire. We can pop a movie in.”

“Mmm….that sounds nice.” She buttoned up her coat and slipped on her gloves.

Will wrapped her scarf around her neck and pushed her hair back. “I hope she has your hair,” he touched it.

“And your eyes,” she smiled.

“She might,” he shook his head. Opening the door he held up his hand motioning to Harvey across the street.

“Mmm….” she yawned.

Will wrapped his arm around her blocking her from the wind. He looked off into the distance and noticed the dark winter clouds starting to roll in. He knew they were due for a big storm. Harvey drove up in front of them and Will motioned to him that he got the door. “In ya go.”

Alison quickly got in the car and moved to the opposite end. “Warm,” she closed her eyes.

“Just rest,” he leaned her head on his shoulder. Will looked up and noticed Harvey looking at them in the rear-view mirror but quickly diverted his eyes when he noticed Will looking at him. Will reached to the side and rolled up the privacy window. “Just rest.”

Turning he looked out the window. Just a few more days, he thought to himself. Just a few more days and he would be a father again. He sighed thinking about Eric and Serena…maybe….maybe some day things would work out between them. He was going to be living closer now. He looked back down and placed a hand on Alison’s belly. He was going to get this right from the start this time. He was going to know this child.

He was excited at the thought. The idea of starting over appealed to him. He knew that Alison would make him happy, he was just always afraid to admit it. He didn’t want to think he could be with any one else. Even though she was pregnant it wasn’t complicated. It was easy to be with her. She never asked for anything, but would do everything. That’s what he….loved about her. He never knew anyone with a heart like hers.

He watched as the gate to his house slowly swung open and the car pulled into the garage. “Al,” he spoke softly.

“We’re home,” she asked.

“Yes, home,” he smiled. “Come on.”

Harvey opened the door and stood to the side. “I’ll be leaving for the night, Mr. van der Woodsen.

“Alright Harvey. Take it easy,” he led Alison into the house. “Why don’t you go on up and get comfy. I’ll be up in a minute.”

“Alright,” she nodded as she walked up the staircase. She waddled down the hall and into Wills room. She turned on the television and lowered the shades. Sitting down on the bed she took off her coat and scarf and tossed them on the chair. She took a deep breath, her back starting to hurt her again. She sighed and untied the bow on her dress and took it off. She went into the closet and hung it back up. She decided to just stay in her slip because she always got hot and it was the most comfortable thing to wear.

She got back into bed and pulled the blanket up from the foot of the bed. She relaxed back into the pillows when Will walked into the room holding an arm full of firewood. “Well you look cozy,” he laughed, kneeling down in front of the fireplace and rolling up his sleeves.

“I am,” she laughed.

He balled up some old news paper and shoved it in the fireplace then stacked up a few logs. He reached on top of the mantle and pulled a few matches out of the rod-iron box. He struck them on the side of the cobblestone fireplace and threw it in. Within a matter of seconds the room was a glow with fire.

“Expert woodsmen,” she moved over.

“One of my many traits,” he laughed. Unbuttoning his shirt he sat down on the bed, kicked off his shoes and pulled the blanket over him. “You going to be warm enough in just that?” he looked at her.

“Mmm…” she shook her head.

“Come here,” he pulled her into his arms and wrapped them both up. “You want to watch Casablanca?”

She rested her head on his chest. “You don’t mind if we watch it again?”

“Course not,” he restarted the DVD. “You know I have a thing for Ingrid Bergman.”

“I thought so,” she snuggled closer.

He kissed the top of her head. “Your hair smells good,” he touched it.

“It’s that fancy shampoo you bought me,” she smiled.

“Mmm…” he turned toward the television. “Getting my money’s worth.”


Lily got out of the car in front of Will’s house. She was tired and irritable from the long ride and wanted nothing more than to just see Will and have him hold her. For the past few months she had tried to work things out with Rufus but he just couldn’t get over her affair with Will, and she just couldn’t let Will go. He had come to mean too much to her again. She wasn’t just going to let him go. She needed him. She needed to grieve with him for the child they lost. She wasn’t over that either. She didn’t know if she ever would be.

She put on her gloves and sunglasses and took her key out of her purse as the car door opened. The driver took her luggage up to the front door before driving off in the heavy snow. Lily unlocked the door and dropped her suitcases in the foyer. “Will?” she looked around “Will are you here? Its…it’s me.” She walked into the kitchen and noticed his coat and scarf resting across the kitchen chair and his gloves thrown on the counter. The lights were on so she realized he must be upstairs.

She sat her glasses on the table and took off her coat and gloves laying them across the table. She took a deep breath and looked at herself in the mirror. “It’s going to be okay,” she fixed her hair. “It’s going to be okay.” She closed her eyes for a moment before she started up the stairs. She was about halfway up when she heard the tv playing and when she reached the landing she saw the flickers of the fire dancing in the door way.

“Mmm…” she smiled, as she walked across the hallway. She pushed the door open and walked inside. “Will,” she said softly.

There on the bed were Alison and Will both asleep cuddled up under a blanket. She rested back against his chest and his lips were just barely grazing her temple. His arm rested under her belly where their fingers were interlaced.

“What the hell…” her eyes darted back and forth between them.

Will’s eyes slowly opened and the first thing he noticed was a fuzzy object standing in the middle of the room. He blinked a few times and noticed right away who it was. “Lily!” he scooted upwards, his eyes blinking several times.

“Mmm…honey,” Alison rubbed her eyes. “What is it?”

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” she ran her hands through her hair. “What the hell are you doing here!”

Alison’s face fell, recognizing the voice instantly. She quickly sat up and pulled away from Will. “Lily…”

“You shut up!” she pointed at her.

“Lily…” Will got off the bed. “What….what are you doing here?”

“What does it look like?” she threw her hand up. “I left him!”

“What….” Both Alison and Will said in unison. “You left Rufus?” he was amazed. “W-why?”

“Is there some place we can go?” she cast a glance at Alison. “Alone.”

He turned and looked at Alison. “Go,” she said softly.

He quickly got off the bed and led Lily out of the room, his hand on the small of her back. Just before he walked through the door he turned and looked at Alison. He saw her standing by the window. She had both hands resting on her stomach and she looked up at the ceiling. Something he always knew she did when she tried not to cry. He swallowed hard and walked into his study.

“What the hell is she doing here!” Lily eyed him as she leaned back against his desk. “And don’t give me some bullshit answer either.”

He sighed rubbing his neck. “She came last month to tell me about the baby.”

“Last month!” her fists balled up. “She’s been here a month! Why the hell is she still here then?”

“I asked her to stay here.”

“What! Why would you do that?” she was incredulous. “How do you even know that’s your baby? If I remember correctly she was whoring herself around for awhile.”

“Lily stop it,” he sighed.

“I’m serious William,” she stood straight. “How do you know? You just believe her? She just comes here one day and tells you she’s having your baby and you just believed her?”

“She’s never lied to me before,” he folded his arms.

“She just wants your money,” she sneered. “She always wanted everything that I couldn’t have. Well she’s not having you too! She’s not.”

“Lily I said stop it,” he grew angry.

“It makes me sick that you slept with her,” she narrowed her eyes. “Sick.”

“Well now you know how I felt knowing that you went home to him and slept with him right after you left from being with me,” he stepped closer to her. “Now you know how it feels.”

“Oh so what being with her was some revenge sex against me?” she crossed her arms as well.

“No, Lil it wasn’t,” he was honest. “And you know that.”

She sighed stepping closer to him. “I left him for you Will. It wasn’t working out. I can’t not see you. I need you. You left when I needed you the most. We’re not done. We’re not,” she laid her head on his chest.

“Lily,” he held her for a moment. “I’m having a baby.”

“So,” she rested her head in his neck. “She doesn’t matter.”


“She doesn’t matter Will. Alison Humphrey doesn’t matter. She never has,” she held him tighter.

“Stop it!” he grabbed her by her arms and pulled her away. “She’s having my child and she matters to me. Like it or not. She’s having my baby.”

“You don’t have to be with her just because she’s having your baby,” she rolled her eyes. “You can support it. And whatever else you feel the need to do. We can still be together. They don’t have to factor in,” she tried to move back into his arms.

“Do you actually listen to the words that come out of your mouth?” he was growing more irritated by the second. He couldn’t believe the woman standing in front of him was the woman that he pined for, for the past year. What had happened to her? Was she always like this? Was he just blinded by that fact because they were just living in some fantasy for the past year?

“Excuse me? her brows narrowed.

“Whatever else I feel the need to do?” he shook his head. “And they don’t have to factor in? How could they not? What…what happened to you Lily?”

“What happened to me? What happened to me! Another marriage of mine just ended William. I just flew half way around the world to see you. Not to mention I just been in the car for 3 hours because we had to land in Nice because of the storm. I’m tired and irritable and all I wanted to do was see you. And what do I find? You in bed with fucking Alison Humphrey,” she huffed leaning back on top of the desk. “That’s what happened to me!”

He sighed, “Lily sit down.”

“No,” she walked behind his desk.

“Why are you so damn stubborn,” he sat down, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Always so stubborn.”

“I’m stubborn?” she laughed. “Don’t give me that shit.”

“Yes Lily,” he looked up. “Stubborn. You never once did anything I’ve ever asked. You always had to fight about it. And you know what? I’m over it Lily. For once I can say I’m not stressed. I’m not annoyed. I don’t feel like I want to pull my damn hair out.”

“Oh and why’s that,” she clicked her tongue. “Because Alison’s just so great,” she rolled her eyes. “She’s just everything you’ve always wanted?”

“She doesn’t argue with me for starters. She’s not selfish. She always thinks about others first and herself last.”

“So what? You’re just going to be with her now? You’re throwing us away?”

“Lily you threw us away,” he tried to make her see. “It’s been nine months. What did you think I was going to do? Sit here? Wallow?”

“You’re the one that left, damn it! You went back to Paris. After I lost the baby! You didn’t stay. You didn’t stay when I needed you the most Will. You left me!” she screamed at him.

“You know what? I do regret that. I do. But at the time I felt that I needed to do that. You weren’t going to leave Rufus at the time. I was making it uncomplicated for you. I was taking myself out of the mix. I did that for you.”

“That wasn’t your fucking choice to make Will!”

“I needed a break Lily. I needed to regroup. See what I really wanted.”

“And what’s that,” she rolled her eyes again.

“I screwed up with one family Lily. I don’t want to make that mistake again. I want to do it right. For once I’m actually happy. I’m excited for something. I see a future for myself. “

“We can have a future Will,” she moved around the desk. “Us. We can have our family back.”

He shook his head. “That’s the problem with you. You always want more. You’re never good with what you have.”

“Don’t say that,” she quickly wrapped her arms around him kissing him hard. ‘You’re enough for me. You are.”

“Lil….” he sighed, falling slightly into the kiss.

“You know how good we were together,” her hands moved to his belt buckle as she continued to kiss him. “Mmm…”

“Lily!” he held her hands. ‘What are you doing?”

“Will I need you,” she pulled her hands from his and unzipped his pants.

He backed away, “You still haven’t changed. Have you?”

“Fuck, Will!”

“No, you haven’t,” he laughed to himself. “You know what Lily? This whole time I thought I wanted you. When in actuality it was really only the idea of you that I wanted. What you used to be when we were together.”

“So what are you saying to me?” she cocked her head to the side.

“Go home Lily,” he swallowed. “Fix things with your husband. That’s who you really want…always wanted.”

“Who the hell are you to tell me what I want? I came here! Doesn’t that tell you anything? I’m here now!”

“It’s too late,” he sighed looking down. “It’s too late.”

“Damn it Will. No it’s not!”

“I don’t want to be with you Lily,” he spoke it out loud for the first time. He swallowed hard and looked at her. He couldn’t quite read her expression all he knew is for the first time he felt like a weight had been lifted off this shoulders.

Her eyes narrowed and she pursed her lips. “So what are you going to do then? Be with Alison? She’s really who you want to be with?” Lily laughed.

“I didn’t say that either, but we’re trying. I’m moving to Hudson with her after the baby is born.”

“You have to be kidding me!” she turned from him and looked out the window. “You….You’re going to fucking live in Jersey!”

“I like it there. It’s simple. It’s a great place to raise a family. Alison’s family is there…it’s special to her.”

“Her…her…her!” she yelled! “Why are you doing everything for her!”

“Because I love her!” he shouted back.

“I hate you,” she said in a low, deep, voice. She moved from the window and walked passed him and down the stairs.

“Lily wait,” he sighed walking down the stairs.

“Don’t follow me,” she grabbed her purse pulling out her phone.

“Lily I don’t want us to end like this.”

“And how did you think it was going to end William?” She turned and looked at him. “How did you think it was going to end after you told me you love Alison Fucking Humphrey!”

“You just can’t stand for anyone to be happy can you?” he shook his head. “You just can’t see passed yourself.”

She turned on her phone ignoring him. “Yes, I’d like a car to the airport please,” she turned from Will. “What! …..Fine! I want a car to Hotel Le Meurice then, and hurry up.” She threw her phone into her purse. “Damn snow!”

“Lily don’t be like this.”

“How else do you want me to be?” she snapped.

“If I knew that you were having a child and that was something you really wanted. I would be happy for you.

“Bullshit,” she grabbed her coat putting it on.

“I hoped we could do this amicably,” he moved in front of her.

“Yeah well,” she put on her gloves. “You thought wrong.”

He sighed and leaned against the counter. He looked down and noticed all of Alison’s prenatal vitamins and medications. He had almost completely forgotten about her upstairs. He could only imagine what she must be thinking.

Lily buttoned up her coat and walked into the foyer grabbing her bags. “Lil wait,” he sighed, following her.

“What?” she stopped, not turning.

He walked in front of her. “Please let me know that you got to your hotel safely. Maybe we can meet up before you go back to New York? Or once I’m in Hudson?”

“Please,” she rolled her eyes and opened the door. “Like you care.”

“I care!”

“Go take care of your pregnant lover,” she slammed the door behind her.

“Damn it!” he hit the front door. Why did she have to be like that? So stubborn and pig headed. He walked back into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water trying to calm down. He leaned over the sink and looked down the drain feeling nauseous.

He placed his glass in the sink then started up the stairs. He hoped this wasn’t going to turn into a fight with Alison too. He walked into his room and noticed she was sitting in the chair by the window. He walked over to her and noticed that she was sleeping. He kneeled down in front of her and touched her knee.” Al?”

“Mmm…” she jumped a little.

“Sorry,” he said softly.

She looked down at Will and bit her lip. “You want me to leave?” she whispered.

“No,” he shook his head. “I don’t want you to leave.”

“What…what happened?” she wondered.

“Not much,” he sighed. “We talked. She got mad and left.”

She grabbed his hand and looked at it for a second before looking in his eyes. “You should go after her.”

“What?” he searched her eyes.

“She’s what you want. Why you moved out here in the first place. Go after her, Will.”

“Alison no,” he shook his head. “You don’t understand.”

“Don’t just stay with me because we’re having a baby. I won’t let you do that. We talked about this.”

“Lily’s not-”

“….and you know I can do this by my-” Will cut her off with a kiss.

“Alison shut up,” he said against her lips.

She sighed, sitting back in her chair.

“What,” he laughed. “That’s the only way to ever get you to stop talking.”

Resting her hand on her stomach she thought back to the things that she over heard Will and Lily talking about. “I heard you and Lily arguing,” she told him.

“I’m sorry,” he sighed. “You shouldn’t have had to hear any of that.”

“You do believe she’s yours don’t you?” she searched his eyes.

He had never thought to question when either or not she was his. It never even entered his mind that Alison would be lying to him or if she herself didn’t honestly know. Now, Lily had planted that seed in his mind and he hated that he doubted her. “I know you would never lie to me, especially about something like this, but how do you honestly know?”

Alison looked down at her belly and started to outline the steam that ran across it. “Because of the time frame,” she didn’t look up. “How far a long I am….my periods.”

“That’s all you had to say,” he smiled tilting her chin up.

“I’ll take a paternity test if you want me to,” she didn’t quite meet his eyes.

Will shook his head. “That’s not necessary.”

She shrugged her shoulders. “So you just…let her go?”

“I just let her go,” he repeated.


“Because I realized things. I realized what’s important to me now. What I used to want and what I want now aren’t the same anymore,” he leaned closer to her. “I want you and our child. I want our future. I want restless nights and 3 am feedings. I want car seats, and diaper bags and snow suits,” he grinned. ‘Family vacations, trips to the beach, sailing. I could keeping going on and on.”

“I think I get your point,” she smiled leaning her forehead against his. “Just be careful what you wish for.

“I always am.”

She leaned forward and brushed her lips against his before she kissed him fully. “Mmm…” she moaned softly.

He smiled and wrapped his arms halfway around her. “And you used to have such a tiny waist,” he joked.

“No fat jokes,” she rested her head on his shoulder.

“I’m just kidding,” he helped her up. “Come on, let’s finish our nap.”

She followed him to the bed and pulled back the covers. “I’m just so tired today,” she sighed. “I just can’t keep my eyes open.”

“Just rest then,” he got in next to her and turned to his side. “You’re going to need all the rest you can now. Once the baby comes….” he laughed shaking his head.

“I know,” she smiled slightly. “I’ve done it…twice.”

He looked down at her stomach and softly started to trace circles at the very tip. His eyes glazed over and his mind started to wander.

“What are you thinking about?” she asked softly, looking in his eyes.

“Mmm….” he looked at her. “Nothing really.”


“No,” he shook his head. “My minds really not grasping onto anything. You know? It’s kind of just…wandering.”

“Come here,” she held him as close as her stomach would allow. “I’m here you know. When you want to talk, and when you don’t want to. I…I love you Will. And I want to be here for you. I love you.”

He smiled and touched her cheek, caressing it softly. “I love you too,” he kissed her. “And I love our daughter.”

“Our daughter,” she said it for the first time. “Our daughter.”

“Who would have thought mmm….”

“Not me,” she smiled, moving closer and closing her eyes. “Not me.”


She got out of the elevator on the forth floor. Looking around she walked down the hall and saw the sign for the neonatal unit. She walked further and reached the large glass windows. Looking down she saw a half dozen babies tucked inside incubators. They all looked so small and frail. She absent-mindedly touched her stomach thinking about her baby. She knew that so far everything was alright with her own pregnancy, but she couldn’t help her mind from running wild that something might happen.


She turned around at the familiar voice. “Dr. Richardson,” she smiled.

“Alison,” she nodded. “You don’t have a appointment today do you?”

“No,” she shook her head. “I’m just going up to see Will,” she pointed. “But I decided to stop here first. “Look at all the sweet little babies.”

“Umm…” she smiled at her. “Would….would you like to go in? Hold one perhaps?”

“Could I?” she smiled, looking in.

“Of course,” she entered the code in the door. “A lot of the babies don’t get much holding time.”

“Really?” she frowned following her inside. “That’s awful.”

“Mmm…” she nodded. “Here, sit down right here,” she pulled out a rocking chair.

Alison sat down and watched the doctor open the top on one of the incubators. She pulled out a tiny baby boy and situated all of his wires before placing him in Alison’s arms. “This is baby Peter. He was born addicted to heroin.”

Alison bit her lip and looked down at the tiny baby in her arms. “He seems so stiff,” she looked up at Dr. Richardson. “So small.”

“From the heroin,” she told her. “It’s a side effect. He was only two pounds when he was born. But he’s growing.”

“He is,” Alison smiled touching his cheek. “Where’s his mother?”

“She left him,” Dr. Richardson, leaned against the wall. “He’s a ward of the county now.”

Peter reached up and touched Alison’s skin just above her breasts. He opened his eyes and looked into hers. “Well hello, Peter,” she spoke softly. “You’re a cute little boy, aren’t you?”

A nurse came and handed Dr. Richardson a bottle and a few charts. “Well I have to get back to work. You want to feed him?” she asked.

“Yes, I’d love too,” she held her hand out.

“You’re good with him,” Dr. Richardson smiled. “You can come whenever you like okay? The babies need more one on one contact. I’ll leave a little note and you just tell the nurses who you are or come with Dr. van der Woodsen.”

She started to feed Peter. “Alright, I could use something to keep me busy during the day.”

“Any time now,” she touched Alison’s shoulder.

“Mmm….” she nodded. “I’ll see you next week then? Final checkup?”

“Of course,” she nodded, opening the door and walking out.

Alison looked back down at baby Peter she touched his cheek next to his mouth as she placed the nipple of the bottle in his mouth. His suckling was a little delayed and she held him to her a little closer. “You’ve been through a lot haven’t you, little one?” She started to rock back and forth humming to him softly.

She looked across the nursery at all the tiny babies in the incubators. She was amazed at how many there were and how there wasn’t many people around them. She knew if she had a baby in the neonatal unit she would never leave. She would always want her child to know she was there.

Suddenly she felt a cold sensation down her leg. She looked down and noticed baby Peter was no longer in her arms. She was just holding his blue blanket and the formula from the bottle was dripping on her lap and falling to the floor. “No…” she whispered. “No…”


“No,” she said louder.


Suddenly Alison’s eyes shot open and she quickly looked around. “Will….” She said breathlessly.

“I’m right here,” he sat up and smoothed back her hair. “You were dreaming.”

She blinked a few times and moved to sit up when she felt the wetness between her legs. “Oh no,” she looked down. “Oh…”

“What’s wrong?” he searched her eyes.

“My water broke,” she pushed the blanket down seeing the wetness starting to soak through her nightgown. “Oh, I made a mess.”

Will got off the bed running a hand through his hair. “It’s okay. Here,” he grabbed her hand. “Let’s get you changed and I’m going to go down and start up the car alright?”

She pushed herself to the edge of the bed. She placed her hand on her belly and took a few deep breaths trying to prepare herself for what was about to happen. Closing her eyes she pursed her lips together as she felt a dull ache start to form at the bottom of her abdomen.

Will walked out of the closet and placed another gown at the end of the bed. “Here, let’s get you out of this one. He started to pull up the edges of her slip and stopped when it reached over her belly. “Can you put your arms up?”

Alison put her arms up and Will lifted the slip over her head and tossed it in the laundry basket. He quickly took some tissues and wiped off her legs.

“I…I can do that,” she felt embarrassed, reaching for the clean nightgown.

“It’s alright,” he tossed them in the trash. He helped her get into her fresh night gown and then grabbed her hospital bag that was in the closet. “I’m going to start the car. I’ll be right back. You going to be okay?”

She nodded, when she felt a sharp pain shoot through her lower back. “Oh….” She closed her eyes trying to breathe through the contraction.

Will’s brow furled as he watched her manage the pain. He held her hand as she worked through it. “It’s okay,” he said softly.

“Mmm….” She nodded opening her eyes. “It’s not bad yet.”

“Okay,” I’ll be right back. “You going to be okay?”

“I’ll be fine,” she smiled. “Just hurry.”

He nodded and quickly took the stairs two at a time. She opened the door to the garage and turned on the light. He took his keys off the hook and opened the car door tossing her bag in the back seat. He then moved to the front seat and pressed the button to open the garage door. He looked in the rearview mirror noticing that the door was not going up. “What the hell?” he pressed the button again. He searched for his car key and placed it in the ignition turning the car on. Getting out of the car he realized the door still hadn’t gone up.

He pressed the button again and heard the door try and go up but it was stuck. He walked around to the side of the garage and unlocked the side door to the outside. As soon as he opened the door a large gust of wind and snow hit him. “Shit!” he jumped back looking out as the snow blew around him.

“Shit,” he looked out at the blizzard. He quickly braced himself and ran outside to the front of the house and looked at the garage. It was completely covered in snow. A large amount covered the base and worked it’s way upward blocking it from going upward. The snow was well to his knees, he knew right away there would be no way he could get out, or much less even drive down the drive way.

“Shit!” he said again making his way back into the garage. He shook off the snow, turned off his car and quickly made his way back inside. He grabbed his phone and called for an ambulance. He couldn’t believe it.

He took a few deep breaths trying to get his emotions together. He was a doctor, he knew what to do, but he wasn’t in a hospital setting if something went wrong. “Fuck…” he leaned against the kitchen counter looking down at the floor. What if something went wrong? It wasn’t just some patient…someone else’s wife…someone else’s baby. It was his own…his own.

“Get it together,” he looked up. His mind went into a tails spin. He grabbed some bottles of water out of the fridge then grabbed the ice canister filling it with ice chips. He went over to the linen closet and grabbed extra sheets and blankets. He went back into the kitchen when he heard Alison scream out in pain.

“I’m right here….I’m right here,” he ran into the room and set his things down on the bed.

“They’re coming faster,” she swallowed. “We have to go now, Will.”

“Why don’t we just sit back,” he fluffed her pillows and talked soothingly as he could. “Try and relax.”

“Sit back?” she searched his eyes. “Will we need to go to the hospital. I’m not joking, she’s really coming.”

He sat at the edge of the bed and took her hand. “We’re snowed in right now and I can’t get the garage door open to get the car out.”

“What…” she said in half disbelief and horror.

“It’ll be fine,” he tried to say as believingly as possible. “I called an ambulance so they should be here as soon as they can. But in the mean time I want you to rest and conserve your strength because you’re going to need it.”

“She laid back in the pillows looking up at the ceiling. “What if they don’t get here in time?” she rubbed her belly. “What if…what if something….”

“Shh….” he brushed back her hair. “You will be fine. It’s a good thing you have a doctor here.”

Her voice shook, “I’m scared Will.”

“I know,” he caressed her cheek. “But I promise you’ll be fine. Women have been having babies since the beginning of time. And you know what to expect.”

“Oh God,” she suddenly thought as she was gripped with another contraction. “No epidural.”

“I’m afraid not,” he frowned.

She sighed becoming more afraid. “Please don’t leave,” she looked into his eyes. “Please stay here the entire time, Will. Please.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” he kissed her hair. “I’ll just be playing a different role is all. “I’m afraid I can’t be your designated hand holder.”

“I should have known this wouldn’t be easy,” she tried to relax.

“Everything will be fine. I’m just going to grab some things from the bathroom. And I’ll see how far along you are alright?”

“Okay,” she nodded.

Will walked into the bathroom and grabbed more towels from the closet. He grabbed some rubbing alcohol and his suturing instruments. He also walked into the closet and pulled out a few candles and some lotion. He placed everything on the chair next to the bed. “Let’s get some of these towels under you alright?” he started to unfold them.

Alison moved to the side and let him lay down an extra pair of sheets and towels beneath her. She looked at him moving about the room and she could tell he was nervous. “What are the candles for?” she wondered.

He went over to the fireplace and took a match lighting a few and placing them around the room. “I thought they’d help you relax,” he shrugged his shoulders. “Soothing,” he turned on his stereo, soft, classical music floating out.

“Mmm….that’s nice,” she smiled. “Thank you.”

He sat down next to the bed and poured some of the rubbing alcohol into a glass and placed each of his instruments in it and sat it down on the table. Alison looked over and noticed a couple pair of scissors, a suturing needle, and a scalpel. She swallowed hard trying not to think about anything.

“Okay, let’s see how far you are okay?” he pushed her legs up. He looked up at her and noticed her face getting red as she looked away. “Embarrassed?” he joked.

“Well this isn’t exactly what I wanted you to see,” she bit her lip. “It isn’t terribly attractive in the beginning stages of our relationship,” she rolled her eyes.

“Will the man already knows what you look like down here,” he laughed rubbing her knee. “And Will the doctor doesn’t care.”

“Alright hurry and look then,” she closed her eyes.

He laughed and pushed up her night gown. He turned on the side table light and took a look. “Mmm…about….3 centimeters,” he knew quickly. He pulled her gown back down and looked at her. “You have awhile.”


“Just relax,” he smiled. “I’ll take care of you.”

“I think you’ve already taken care of enough,” she pointed to her belly.

“Oh, you’re a feisty pregnant woman,” he took off her sock. “I like it!”

She looked at him annoyed, “What are you doing?”

He poured some lotion in his hand. “I thought you could used a foot massage,” he hit her pressure points. “You know you have funny looking toes.”

“Shut up,” she frowned. “It’s from dancing. And they’re swollen. ”

He kissed her big toe, “I love your feet.”

“I’m sure you do,” she sighed closing her eyes.

He laughed and continued to massage her foot. Pouring more lotion into his hand he started to make his way from her ankle up to her calf. He noticed that she started to relax a little, which in turn made him feel a little bit better himself. Picking up her other foot he started to do the same.



“Everything is going to be okay isn’t it?” he kept her eyes closed not daring to look at him.

“Of course it is,” he smiled kissing her leg. “Before you know it our daughter is going to be here and your going to be holding her….and I’ll be holding you.”

A smile appeared on her face and she slowly opened her eyes. “I can’t wait.”

“Me neither,” he sat down her leg and grabbed the remote. “Let’s finishing watching Casablanca.”

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